Trojan Thanks Moms Everywhere (well, they should)

Written by Emily

A new school year is approaching. My former colleagues are back in their classrooms. I’d probably miss being there with them if I weren’t making such a significant impact on local teens by simply taking my sometimes-unruly brood into public. I mean, I’ve been practically working overtime for the local abstinence groups, and I should probably be getting an hourly wage from the makers of all things birth control.

While I’m handling public outbursts and behaviors that make me think my children are plotting against me, some parents might shrink in embarrassment. Not me. I’m thinking of it as a public service.

It seems that my kindness has gone unnoticed, though. A little “thank you” for the excruciating work I’m doing here would be really nice.

Perhaps something like this…

LurayCaverns

Target

icecream

convo

Screaming

Boobies

cheerio

teacher

You are so welcome.

When you receive your thank you note, what will it say?

12 comments for “Trojan Thanks Moms Everywhere (well, they should)

  1. August 13, 2013 at 7:05 am

    This is awesome, Emily! Please tell me that there’s not seriously a company named Naturalambs…?!

  2. August 13, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Totally spot on!!! Totally! We should just print those thank you cards and hand them out to each other!!!
    Brilliantly hysterical!

    • August 13, 2013 at 11:42 am

      Thank you so much! I’ll go ahead and start printing them…ha!

  3. August 13, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Hahaha these companies should give all moms with kids 16 years below 10% of their profit to share 🙂 Funny stuff!

    • August 13, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      Yessss! I could use a little spending money 🙂

  4. August 13, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    That was so great that it hurt! You should send this to Trojan and suggest that they make an internet thank-you video for moms.

  5. August 13, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I have, on occasion, said to those witnessing the meltdown’s of my offspring… “and that is why you should use birth control!”

    You’re welcome world!

  6. Catherine Pasierb
    August 14, 2013 at 9:01 am

    I remember approaching you In a store with two of your three wild ones in my cart. You looked me straight in the eye and proclaimed, “I don’t know you!”

  7. August 15, 2013 at 9:48 am

    I have always said that other people’s children are the best form of contraception. So pleased to know that I am not alone. Priceless!

    • August 16, 2013 at 11:18 am

      I think it’s better to think of my reaction and children’s behavior as a public service. It’s self-preservation, really.

      Ha! As always, thank you for reading and commenting!

  8. August 18, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Definitely a public service! Haha… Target could thank me too for the sales of such birth controls. Mine like to make a scene while I’m perusing the hip tanks and tees while college age girls wander slowly..alone…they look at me horrified and probably walk directly to the “family planning” aisle.

  9. August 18, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Those are fantastic!

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