The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift

Written by Emily

The kids and I are working on a no-fail Father’s Day gift. We searched the interwebs and snuck around daddy’s desk, and we think we’ve got it. It’s not ready yet, but I’m sure we’ll have it perfected by Sunday.

Our research on dads brought us to this conclusion. We’re still tinkering with our prototype, but here is the snazzy illustration:


All the things dads need and love in one handy device!

Golf Club:

Dads love golf. They just do. A golf club that fits in their pocket and is ready at a moment’s notice to play a few holes with some business associates? Yes. And this tool would solve the problem of dads pantomiming their golf swings no matter where they are…mid-conversation. They could use a REAL club, so strangers no longer mistake it for a nervous twitch. You’re welcome.


My husband works in the basement and my dad is retired, but men need neckties…a lot of neckties. With a necktie rolled up inside his pocket knife, he would be prepared for all the formal occasions that never spring up.

Keg Nozzle:

Men and their beer, am I right?! I can think of nothing better for the resident beer connoisseur than the ability to turn any beverage container into a functioning keg. Watermelon? Keg. Barrel? Keg. Milk jug? Keg. You get the idea. Are you envisioning a lifetime of tailgates? Awesome.


What says man better than a fold-out portable grill? I can’t count the number of times I’ve been in a public or social setting and my husband grunted, “I wish we had our grill*.” Problem solved. (*Note: To be clear, that has never happened. Never.)


Now that I’m a mom I understand the prolonged bathroom visits. It’s about hiding, I assume. Well, a fold-out functioning toilet is my permission slip for dad to find a private moment and take as long as he needs. Go ahead. Take the iPad, too. We won’t bother you.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads. Do we know you or what?

5 comments for “The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift

  1. Catherine Pasierb
    June 14, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    You certainly know your own dad! In particular golf club, necktie and toilet! How many times have we watched dad do his imaginary golf swings everywhere! Excellent!

    • June 14, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      Ok, so that one holds true…and maybe the toilet. Ok….definitely the toilet.

  2. June 14, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    Maybe a don’t-bother-me hat, when he wears it, we all pretend we can’t see him unless we are offering caffeine or sugar. It would act like the closed bathroom door. A force field against “Daddy, can you..” “Daddy, can I…” 🙂

    Or a hug IOU capable of stopping a fight mid mad. 🙂

    I need them, too!

    • June 14, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      If you could market those things, I’d appreciate it!

      • June 14, 2013 at 3:03 pm

        I’d be rich! Instead I have a rich imagination (according to my teachers, years ago). LOL

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