The Easter Basket Toddlers REALLY Want

Written by Emily

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I’m finished spending money on toddler Easter baskets. I’m sorry it took me so long to really listen to my children. Each of them told me or rather showed me in his/her own ways, but I insisted on the commercial Peeps and chocolate bunnies, the silly little toys that were forgotten days later. I’m finally listening. I’m sorry, Noah and Chloe. Mommy’s a slow learner. I’ve got it now.

This year, Sylvie’s basket will include:

Glass of Ice Water–It has to be my ice water, so there will be a little play acting involved here, but what’s a holiday without a little friendly deceit? After I take a sip, my littlest will, without fail, reach for the glass, and splash around in it with as much enthusiasm as the community baby pool. By the time her hand is bright red and beginning to frost bite, my glass will have as many mysterious floaters as the baby pool, too. I can’t wait to pretend I don’t have a dry pair of clothes for her or enough napkins to clean up the water puddling under the table. She will be so excited!

Tampons–I buy these in bulk because inside one jumbo box is hours of entertainment. In small doses, they provide enough distraction for me to accomplish a task. Emptying the dishwasher? 5 tampons. Getting dressed? 2 tampons. To be fair, they are fun when not being used for their intended purpose. They are the very design of a push pop and made out of materials pre-k teachers stock their cabinets with–cotton, string, miniature toilet paper rolls. I think we used the same materials to make a replica of George Washington for President’s Day.

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Sanitary Napkins–There is definitely an “I’d rather you not get that out in church” factor here, too, so maybe I’ll save them for the church service on Easter Sunday. The possibilities are endless, really. With the sticky back there is no limit to the awkward places these can go. On the seat sticky side up, so mommy can sit on it unawares. Yes! On the glass facing the congregation? Ok!

Tissues/Wipes–Not for runny noses or sticky messes. A box just for wasting. One after another floating down from the sky like a toddler’s dream and a mom’s nightmare. I’ll pretend it’s my last box, too, so my babe’s fun is to the max!

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And when there are no more tissues left, this will be fun, too.

Lipstick–Not new, but my favorite color. It does look adorable on my sweet’s forehead and chin. On the walls and carpet? Not so much, but it is Easter, and I want the day to be special.

Remote–I’ve tried remote decoys. They don’t work. In fact, she finds it insulting. I have to sit down with a cup of coffee with her brother or sister curled into my side for this gift to mean anything at all. When we’re comfortable, she can push buttons in a combination that makes the entire entertainment system inoperable. And then she can hide it, so no one can find it for hours. Nice.

My Purse–This is a hard one because it will only work if it’s fully-stocked with all of my cards, my phone, the above mentioned tampons and pads and about $75 in spare change. I’ll hand it to her right before we have to leave for our Sunday service, so she can dump it all over the floor making us late. My credit card has to slide under the couch without me knowing it, and we’ll have to find ourselves in desperate need for gas. This Easter is going to be my favorite!

My Shoes–Because I care about my child’s health, I’ll include a shoe that has been fully sanitized. I’ll give the illusion of a yucky sole, though, so that I can feign a look of horror when she pretends to be a puppy and carries it around the house in her mouth.

Toilet Paper–I envision a game of chase on Easter morning with my precious toddler holding one end of the paper and my bigs holding the other. They run in opposite directions and all over the house until the toilet paper is a filmy, white path marking all the places they’ve been. Then they can wrap themselves up until they’re tangled, messy mummies, screaming for help.

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My Toothbrush–Unless it’s mine, it won’t be as rewarding to slide it along the baseboards and nestle the bristles into the carpet where the dog just stopped to lick herself.

If you’d like me to make a basket for your favorite toddler, send me an email. I love Easter.

13 comments for “The Easter Basket Toddlers REALLY Want

  1. March 18, 2013 at 5:52 am

    Great list 🙂 have you tried treasure baskets and heuristic play items, same sort of thing just more ideas 🙂

    • March 18, 2013 at 10:14 am

      Thanks for the tip! I’ll check anything! Thank you so much for reading 🙂

  2. Michelle
    March 18, 2013 at 6:57 am

    Ok, this was the perfect way to start my Monday! My belly hurts from laughing. So true! Love the “tampons”!

  3. Jane Fennelly
    March 18, 2013 at 10:00 am

    Poor Sylvie, she’ll be marked for life, although you did include all of her favorites!

  4. Patsy
    March 18, 2013 at 10:07 am

    Hilariousssssss!!!!!!! Loive it! Tampons?! lol.

    • March 18, 2013 at 10:13 am

      Patsy, get some tampons just for the kids! You will have more time in the day! 🙂

  5. Kathleen Gallo
    March 18, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Hysterical! Ah, the stage we love to leave behind!! And the time when we keep praying, “Please let this END and it only be a “short” stage and we can move on!” It’s always when we berate ourselves because we forgot, again, to put something up, or got distracted from trying to constantly watch them, & they’re busily destroying the world!! Funny perspective, Emily!! Love your writing!!

  6. Catherine Pasierb
    March 20, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Once, when my little guy finally fell silent and still in church, I looked down to see to my horror that he had discovered a maxi pad in my purse. He had opened it and was busy sketching on its surface. An artist is born! Sylvie is on the same creative path!

  7. March 26, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    I wish I’d thought of this before I spent all that money on what I *did* buy for Giggles this year. D’oh.

  8. March 27, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    Happy to know I’m not the only mama out there who lets my kid play with tampons. 😉

    • March 27, 2013 at 2:54 pm

      Maybe our kids will be in a support group together when they’re older! Ha!

  9. April 9, 2013 at 7:53 am

    Ah, the cruel irony of parenthood. They don’t want anything unless it’s been in our possession. I’m dreading the teen years: “Eww! I don’t want to use that brush. That’s belongs to MOM! Ugh!!”

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