Written by Emily
The autumn winds are blowing, and I’ve already lost Sylvie in the layers of fallen leaves covering the front yard. Fall is here, and Halloween is only a few short weeks away. Chloe is going to be a lady bug. Sylvie will be a bee and because mom wanted him to be an insect or exterminator, Noah will be a zombie goalie. Like every year, the kids are prepared. But unlike every year, I will not scrape my costume together at the very last minute. This year, I’ve planned. This year, I’ve got options.
These simple DIY solutions will make this a Halloween to remember. Guaranteed.
DIY Witch Costume
There are definite perks to being a witch. First, I get to ease up on the dusting without feeling guilty about it. If unexpected visitors drop in, I have an explanation. Cobwebs are a must. Second, there’s a hat involved, so my neighbors don’t have the intimate details of my bedroom hair when I walk my boy to the walking train. So there’s that. When the kids ask for another lollipop for the 18th time in a row, I can throw my head back and cackle maniacally rather than lose my cool. I like it. The greenish hue? I’ll watch my three run circles around me until I feel like I’m going to vomit. Done.
DIY Walking Dead (a.k.a. Zombie
The splatter on the wall looks like blood spatter, but it’s just the result of a Pinterest craft gone wrong. Happens all of the time. The red smudge on my shoulder is a marinara hug from the night before. Yes. I’m wearing the shirt for a second time in a row without washing it. A few lipstick smudges and one all-nighter=Zombie! I’ll mumble incoherently and shuffle around the house for effect. I’ve got DIY in the bag.
DIY Naughty Mommy Costume
I attended several Halloween parties in college and afterwards, and I never once saw a Naughty Mommy costume. There were plenty of Naughty Nurses, Naughty Librarians, Naughty Raccoons, but not Naughty Mommy. There’s no short skirt involved, but stretchy yoga pants are ok. Scrap the fish nets and heels. It’s Halloween at home not at a gentlemen’s club. This costume is really about checking out rather than being checked out. Naughty Mommy doesn’t maliciously trip kids at the playground or anything, but she might not read a nutrition label. She will probably say “yes” to the fourth pack of fruit snacks or pack a lunch without worrying about BPA in the packaging. Sometimes Naughty Mommy will pretend her kid read for a full 20 minutes when he only read a cereal box.
DIY Vampire Costume
My tan has faded almost entirely now, so without my standard swipe of bronzer I have a vampire hue (not the beautiful Twilight pale, the “is she ok” pale). Minus a touch of concealer and some Clinique dark circle cream, the luggage beneath my eyes is perfect for this ensemble. When my toddler practices finger painting using the wall as her canvas, I’ll leave it. And that shirt? It hasn’t been washed in five wears and at this point has been a wash cloth, a drop cloth and a tissue for three children. The red drop on my mug could be a Bloody Mary concealed as coffee. We’ll call it a vampire vice.
So what do you think? Which DIY costume should I choose? I have my fingers crossed you’ll say Naughty Mommy or MILF. I think I can pull those off without a hitch.