“What’s it like having four kids? It must be…”
She ended with a long pause and waited for me to fill in the blank. Having been tackled 398 times since we arrived an hour ago at my in-law’s, my middle school niece was no-doubt having a hard time imagining how a person could possibly survive being tackled in perpetuity by four children.
While she waited for my answer, I’m sure she was scanning my body to try to make sense of the baby in my arms and the place from which she knew that baby had emerged.
I get it. I remember the Miracle of Birth video from health class. I’m sure the film has been updated; the footage is likely clearer, and there’s probably less hair. It might be more traumatic today, though I can’t imagine it. Oddly, health class doesn’t seem to dissuade kids from bumping uglies (since we’re talking middle school, here).
Anyway, before I could summarize what my life has been like for the last month with four children, my niece was summoned to play lions with my 8, 6 and 3 year old. Her question, though, is still on my mind and has been for the last several days.
“What’s it like having four kids?”
I’m a visual learner, and kids these days love memes, so here is my answer.
1. I can completely identify with this guy:
There is always someone crawling on me, grabbing me, needing me, wanting me. Always. And probably forever.
2. I am not nor will I ever be a marathon runner mostly because I hate running but also because this is how I feel at the end of every single day:
And if you’ve stood at the finish line of a long-distance race, you’ve seen the men with the pink-stained shirts, who forgot to tape their now-chafed nipples. Well, I breastfeed, so I’ve been there. Really, marathoner and mom are synonyms. Next!
3. Replace the mountain with laundry, and this is parenting.
The enormous land mass above will be whittled away by rain before I will ever get through the mountains of laundry in my home. And if I ask my kids to clean their rooms, multiply that mountain by three.
4. Remember that wacky carnival game with the soft mallet and the obnoxious moles that spring from their holes?
I used to love that game. Now, it hits (no pun intended) a little too close to home. Just when I think I’ve got something, anything under control something else pops up and then something else and another thing followed by a poop explosion.
5. Yesterday while I was making dinner, the big kids swarmed the kitchen because they were hungry and thirsty right that very second, and the baby started crying, and the dishes piled up in the sink, and my milk came in because it was time, and it occurred to me that parenting would be snap if I never ever stopped moving.
This is what it feels like to have four kids. But it also feels pretty freakin’ awesome–spontaneous “I love you”s and slobbery, open-mouth baby kisses and chasing fireflies and running away from crashing waves and tasting snowflakes, but I’ll save the details of that for later in case my niece gets any crazy ideas that the Miracle of Birth didn’t https://www.acheterviagrafr24.com/acheter-viagra-sans-ordonnance/ completely knock out of her.