Written by Emily, Illustrated by Thaddeus
Parenting P.E.: The Physical Prowess, Emotional Fortitude and Mental Conditioning of Parenting
Unlike fitness fads, parenting will probably not go out of style–unless you’re wearing leg warmers and leotards or Prancercising (which we fully support as a humiliation tactic). We’re turning to football for our first installment of Parenting P.E. because fall is upon us, and we can’t ignore it. While everyone else is watching the players, we’re dreaming of the kind of disciplinary control exhibited by the men in black and white. Using simple hand movements and without raising their voices, they stop several tons of testosterone in its tracks, which is roughly equivalent to one or two toddlers. If only the proverbial “throwing in the towel” could have as much parenting power as a flag on the field. A parent can dream.
And in our dreams, a simple blow of a whistle would stop these infractions:
I’m gearing up for that one with Sylvie. Potty training, here we come!
This may or may not have happened today.
When I ask my boy how school was, he shrugs and gets mute. In the public restroom, he’s got nothing but details. Nice.