My Twisted Mix Tape: Nothing But Strings

Written by Emily

Jen Kehl

No Strings Attached. I’ve been in a committed relationship for so long I can’t even imagine what that means. Well, I can. Ok. I will.

I’m sure given the refined air I exude what with my chipped toenail polish and raw cuticles, you might think I’m above celebrity crushes. Well, folks, I am not. And this week’s theme gives me permission to indulge. Thank you, Jen Kehl.

Who was talking about Ryan Gosling? No one? Really? Why? I’ve got the hots for the guy; I’m not going to lie. And I’ll just lay it out–or me…nevermind–what is happening?

You and Me–Penny and the Quarters

Blue Valentine. Horribly depressing movie. I watched it curled up on the couch hoping for the best. The only high point in the film besides Ryan Gosling was that his character introduced me to this song, which will forever be one of my favorites. I could listen to it for days straight, and if it has a strange hypnotic quality that can summon Ryan, then I will.

Real Hero–College and Electric Youth

Drive. I spent the vast majority of this film with my eyes closed and my hands over my ears humming lullabies because it was just too gruesome (doesn’t that sound like someone who snags too many men to count?!). It’s a shame because I missed out on innumerable ogling opps, but I did catch enough to hear this song, which is awesome because I kind of love it. When I hear it, I try not to think of Ryan Gosling murdering the crap out of someone–and no, that is not a euphemism.

But Ryan, if you’re finished with your ruthless murdering ways, call me. Also, scrap the scorpion jacket.

Get Lucky–Daft Punk, Stephen Colbert

As much as I’d like to, I can’t make Ryan the thread that holds my list together. So I’m going to be literal with this one…kind of.

When I saw Stephen Colbert’s video of this song, it made me happy for days. Give me a funny man any day…even if we’re talking about part of the day, the night part. And to be honest, there’d have be luck involved in no strings attached, since I dance less like the Rockettes in Colbert’s video and much more like Bryan Cranston. So here we go.

Golden Brown–Stranglers

I went to see Snatch with my latest love interest at the time (if I can even remember who that was. I had to install a revolving door during my wild young years. Total lie. It was my husband). My reaction when Brad Pitt and Jason Statham walked onto the screen together in their chiseled man-ness could have been a deal breaker for my real-life beau, but I lucked out with this guy. He mocked me. I mocked myself, and then I dreamed of sinewy muscles and scrappy fighters.

Should Jason, Brad and Ryan saunter into the Children’s Museum (because let’s face it, my club days are over) and begin fighting over my killer mom bod, I think my hubs would give me a pass…no strings attached.

Snowfall–Ingrid Michaelson

But seriously, who am I kidding? I am not a “no strings attached” kind of girl. I got nothing but strings. I’m a tangled up mess. Read: total keeper. After a playful romp, I would no doubt sit and stew and pine and look out my window listening to songs like this and feeling worse.

So Ryan, Brad and Jason, I think it’s best this goes no further. I’m sorry. Don’t call. It would just make it worse…for all of us.

11 comments for “My Twisted Mix Tape: Nothing But Strings

  1. August 20, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Oh My God. Thank you SO much for the Colbert clip – I have to hear this song every night at my part time job, and while I used to hate it, now I’ll be in a mad giggling fit every time it comes on!

    • August 20, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      You are so welcome! I smile just thinking about it! Thanks for commenting!

  2. August 20, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    OMFG! How could I forget Get Lucky – I mean it’s in the damn title! Wow, that’s awesome, thanks for having such a great mix AND not having Heart or Bob Seger on it! 🙂

    • August 20, 2013 at 6:14 pm

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I’m not a Bob Seger fan, so rest assured you won’t find him on my mixed tapes! Ha 🙂

  3. findingninee
    August 20, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    I’ve never seen Blue Valentine. Should I? That Stephen Colbert video is my favorite one so far this week.

    • August 21, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      It’s the story of the evolution of a relationship. It’s not uplifting, really. But it’s worth watching…I think :/

  4. Jen
    August 21, 2013 at 12:58 am

    Shoot! So many freaking good mixes this week! You really got the theme idea! SHE REALLY GOT IT! I am so glad you found us, you really make my week that much brighter. LOVE THIS. Love it. I’m sorry Ryan is a murderer. It’s sad really, but – you know – it’s probably better that way.

  5. August 21, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    Love, love LOVE the Colbert clip!!

  6. Slu
    August 21, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    Freakin’ Hands Down Video of the Week!!! Clobert… Not even close. Wow: 🙂

    Slu

    • August 26, 2013 at 10:25 am

      PS…I don’t see any social media up top, so I hope you don’t mind if I tack my invite onto the comments here. I’d love it if you joined in on my I Don’t Like Mondays blog hop. It’s going on now and it’s up all week. http://wp.me/p3F9ax-s9

      • August 26, 2013 at 10:28 am

        I don’t mind the invite at all! I LOVE it! And I just linked up 🙂 I’m not a fan of Mondays (especially first-day-of-school ones when I’m blubbering like a baby), so it’s a perfect fit!

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