Written by Emily
I turned 34 on Friday. With each new year, I feel an intense pressure to maintain my street cred. Days at the pool surrounded by tween and teens has given me the opportunity to keep my hand on the pulse of all things hip and on trend. Thank goodness.
This year, to keep my cool, I vow to…
1. Master the selfie.
If you’ve ever been on Facebook or Instagram (even if you’ve just peeked over your kid’s shoulder), you know that anyone who is anyone has totally nailed the selfie… good selfies, selfies that aren’t all forehead or neck skin or just camera in the mirror. This is a hard one for me, but I think the only way to get better is to flood all social media outlets with pics of my face. I’ll fit in at least.
I’m too young to have experienced the Beatles craze. When NKOTB was just New Kids On the Block, I was listening to Harry Chapin and Paul Simon with the ‘rents. I’m too old to truly embrace the One Direction/Justin Beiber mania, but I can scream. Sale on organic produce? AHHHHHHHHH. Arrive on time…anywhere? AHHHHHHHH. Kids are civil to one another for more than 10 minutes? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH with tears. This might be my favorite.
3. Text Talk.
It’s impossible to keep up unless I embrace text language as IRL language. Maybe my kids would listen better. Maybe they ignore the sound of my voice because they don’t understand me. I’ll try this: “Noah! Oh Emmm Gheee. I heart that pic. BTW, did you pick up your toys?” or “Chlo, you make me LOL. I’ll BRB.” Note to self: learn text lingo besides OMG, BTW, LOL, BRB.
4. Use Emoticons.
I’ve seen Instagram captions that look like the pages of an Early Reader. There are more little images than words. I don’t know how to do that. But it’s time to learn. In the meantime, I’m going to fashion myself some snazzy masks, so my kids know how I feel.
These pics are just what their scrapbooks need to really show my sweets how meaningful our experiences were.
adding z and izzle to the end of words. Try “cray cray” and “ahhhhmayzing” and “I can’t” instead.