Ignorance is Bliss, Julie Andrews (and it makes for a better lullaby)

Don’t you love The Sound of Music? Julie Andrews. The Von Trapp family. Christopher Plummer. Dancing. I can hear my mom singing “My Favorite Things” while Chloe and Sylvie spin in circles. *Sigh*

And then I snap out of it. Favorite things? Really? Raindrops on roses? You mean, acid rain, Maria? Kittens? Have you heard of cat scratch fever? And the apples in the streudel? Are those organic? I know you wouldn’t use sugar or white flour, Maria. Surely you have a healthful alternative. These might be your favorite things, but is this the kind of message we what to send our children?

While I love the sentiment, Maria, all classics need a little updating, and I think a socially aware, environmentally conscious version will resonate a bit more with our modern sensibilities. Take a listen… (or don’t and just read the lyrics…)

The Horrible Things

Nitrites in lunch meats and coal tars in skin cream
Nitrogen oxides and toxins in string beans
Chlorine in pools and the asthma it brings
These are a few of the horrible things

Deet laden bug spray, petroleum playmats
Cotton with poisons and fevers from house cats
Fungal diseases from wild bird droppings
These are a few of the horrible things

Lead in the toy paint and make-up with phthalates
Dioxins from smelters in homes of our playmates
Hazardous waste sites that poison our springs
These are a few of the horrible things

If you’re not scared, you’re not listening
You’re not feeling sad?
Then simply remember these horrible things
And then you will feel so bad.

There’s nothing like a little Rodgers and Hammerstein* on repeat in your head…all…day…long. You are so welcome.

We’re ready to book tour dates as the next Von Trapp Family. Feel free to contact me.

*Rodgers and Hammerstein, I am truly sorry.

horriblethings

7 comments for “Ignorance is Bliss, Julie Andrews (and it makes for a better lullaby)

  1. Shirley
    May 28, 2013 at 9:02 am

    LOVE IT!!! I may have to share it in my risk class next spring.

    • May 28, 2013 at 9:06 am

      OMG, Shirley, thank you for loving it! I hope the class is all about the risk of putting one’s ridiculous singing voice on the internet!

  2. Catherine Pasierb
    May 28, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Unbelievably creative! It made me laugh, but then I realized those are terrifying realities facing us. What are we doing to our beautiful planet and its inhabitants?
    By the way, the voices are excellent!

  3. May 28, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    Here’s another Von Trapp Family member… http://briandbuckley.com/2013/05/16/these-are-a-few-of-my-favorite-things/ wonderful renditions, fabulous updated versions!!! Enjoy

  4. Kathleen Gallo
    May 29, 2013 at 7:22 am

    I am in AWE over you not only making this up, but you & the kids singing it, too! So many talents keep bubbling up to the surface!!
    Obviously you had a lot of fun doing it!

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