Food for Thought: Patience and Privacy…PLEASE!

Written by Michelle

I got a phone call from my husband this afternoon. Our typical “Hunny, I’m coming home and stopping at the grocery store” conversation. I love him for doing that. It usually happens once a week. Like a little kid getting ready to rattle off my Christmas list I start my “I only need a few items but I really mean twenty things” list. From milk to bananas, I usually breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the conversation.

Grocery shopping, check! Another thing off my to-do list and I am one happy girl.

Yet, today… in the midst of a perfect summer day, a half-empty fridge and a hungry Momma, I just wanted two things. Two things and I was done. He was going to have to do some digging to find them, but defeated and deflated I bluntly announced,  “patience and privacy.”

Silence on the other line.

But my brave soulmate said “ok” and set out to find them.

What? They don’t sell that at your local grocery store?



Yeah, I guess my local supermarket is not the only one with those items on backorder.

Somewhere between being a friend, a wife and a mother, I think I’ve lost it. Not only my marbles, but my ability to be patient, and I have a growing need for privacy (even just a pinch).

When I worked full time and taught high school students I thought I was invincible. I could take angry kids, whinny kids, even teenagers with an attitude. I took it like a champ and loved the challenge. I believed I was reasonably patient and understanding. So what exactly happened over last ten years?

My quite knowledgeable husband came home and happily proclaimed he had found them both: patience and privacy, that is. As I sat perplexed at his impossible discovery, he placed a bag of chocolate Rolos to my left and chocolate-covered blueberries to my right.


He planted a kiss on top of my head and said, “here is your patience and your privacy.” As he closed the door to our home office, he smiled. Then, so did I.

So simple. So true. He knew me. And, that’s when it hit me.

During my teaching years, I did purchased patience. Back then after a particularly challenging day with students, it came in the form of Swedish Fish (in bulk). I went through many…many boxes. How quickly I forget.

Privacy came at a smaller price: a heartfelt conversation with my best friend over a warm cup of hot chocolate inside our copy room. In our own little room and world it was all I needed to make me feel like myself again.

I love being a friend.

I always longed to be a mother.

I’m blessed to be my best friend’s wife.

In order to be all those (and be them well) at this point in my life, I just need some alone time with my bag of mini Rolos and a closed door inside my home office. For that, I’m grateful.

I can take the day better, breathe easier, smile with ease knowing that I have support. I can’t be scared to reach for it. I shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for it. Sometimes it comes in the form of a loved one, other times it comes neatly packaged with high caloric value.

Patience is a virtue. Privacy is packaged differently for everyone.

My local grocery store called today. They got my other backorder of patience and privacy today. Nutella is back in stock and so is my Malbec!

Where do you get your patience and privacy?

7 comments for “Food for Thought: Patience and Privacy…PLEASE!

  1. July 12, 2013 at 1:32 am

    I have a little room at home under lock and key just for me and my treasures, it’s a calm just for me space I treasure, I also have a swing seat at the top of the garden, I often share it but that’s by request or invitation only.. Ok I admit the cats never ask.
    Patience is normally in good supply and if it wanes I take some time out.
    I don’t know your age or situation but wanting time alone and feeling less inclined to take others nonsense is classic pre menopausal.

  2. July 12, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Love that your husband found patience and privacy at the store for you – that’s just awesome!!

  3. jessica
    July 12, 2013 at 10:41 am

    I love that he knew you needed a little chocolate and quiet time to refresh. As moms we don’t always take time out to refresh from being everything to everyone.

  4. Catherine Pasierb
    July 12, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    What a thoughtful guy! I admire your relationship as you described it here. Lovely!

  5. Mea
    July 12, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Love this! Love you! Your hubby rocks! 🙂

  6. Sylvia
    July 14, 2013 at 11:25 am

    Beautiful story. I know what is to need patience and privacy. Ask your Mom. She remembers.

  7. Deb
    July 22, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Totally get this. Have lived in a hotel room with 4 other people and a dog (and various permutations) for 2 months now and there’s no end in sight. I just want to stretch out in bed in my underwear and watch what I want on TV and not trip over 17 suitcases when I get up during the night. You’re normal. 1 child or 20 children, you need some privacy to function well. And we could all use some more patience at times. Enjoy your chocolate-covered privacy and patience. I think I shall purchase some for myself today!!

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