And the Parenting Award Goes To…

Written by Emily

I’m resurrecting a little something from the archives because summer is coming to a close and moms deserve a standing ovation for the everyday, and the everyday in summer comes with a side of summer camps and swimming pools, family “vacations” and road trips.

***

At one time, I may have really believed  that simply holding my sweet baboos in my arms would be enough to sustain me. Three children later and another one brewing, I know what’s up. New baby smell and oxytocin aren’t quite enough to sustain me for a lifetime of parenting. There is reality involved here. I love my kids unconditionally despite the reality of their craziness.

So let’s go ahead and bring the validation, the standing ovations, the hip-hip hoorays for the everyday victories of parenting. A little something to say we notice and we appreciate that you survived the drudgery and the silliness, the wacky and the bizarre of parenting–without which would not have gotten you or the children to those big moments: graduations and goals, recitals and grades, milestones and accomplishments.

So here it is. Acknowledgment and thanks for the mundane (hey, if preschoolers can wear caps and gowns and participants can get awards for just participating, parents deserve awards, too. Because let’s face it, we do far more than just show up).

Award for Unparalleled Strength:

strength

For the super-human ability to carry one’s body weight in groceries, a screaming child, a diaper bag, a coffee and the keys while simultaneously closing the car door and opening the house in one fell swoop.

The HeisMOM:

heismom

For unprecedented commitment to getting children to and from practices and games wearing the appropriate gear (most of the time), for enduring youth sports of any kind, for cheering…always cheering maybe even for the other team…seriously who has the ball?

Momstacle Course Champion:

Momstacle

Awarded to the mom who hurdles laundry piles, dodges dropped legos, spins around toddlers and serpentines through strewn crayons with the speed and agility of Jackie Joyner-Kersee in order to clean up a spill, rescue a screaming child or answer the phone (you know, to have at least one adult conversation).

The Comomedy Award:

comomedy

For feigning laughter at terrible jokes, for never yelling “That. Is. Not. a. Joke!”, for not lighting your hair on fire to escape the room during still another made-up knock-knock joke.

The Jekyll and Hyde Award:

jekyllhyde

Given to a mother eerily adept at contorting her face to privately reprimand her children in a public space with such intensity tears come to her eyes and in an instant turning with startling sincerity and enthusiasm to smile at a passing neighbor as though nothing were amiss.

The Navigation Award:

Navigation

Awarded for the remarkable ability to weave seamlessly in and out of traffic while swatting into the backseat, threatening to pull-over, handing out snacks and changing the radio station without taking your eyes off the road.

The Certificate of Silence:

silence

Presented to parents who say nothing despite desperately wanting to say so very much as their children choose the wrong partner, apply for the wrong job, follow the wrong crowd, eat the wrong food, and generally make horrible, horrible mistakes (that should be but will not be followed by “You know better”).

The AcadeMOMMY Award:

Academommy

For demonstrating unrivaled enthusiasm over another summer camp craft made out of but not limited to: Q-tips, cotton, popsicle sticks, glitter, fingerprints, noodles, googly eyes.

The ScatMom Award:

Scatmom

For knowing one’s children on such an intimate level, it’s obvious to you who is responsible for the special treat in the unflushed toilet. No need for inquiry or investigation with your honed sense of smell and keen eyesight. It’s a gift.

Certificate of Authenticity:

authenticity

Given for your commitment to always doing the sniff test. Always.

Go ahead. Send this to the parents you know. Copy just one and slap it on their FB wall. Heck, give yourself one or all of them. We all need a little validation. Happy Parenting!

19 comments for “And the Parenting Award Goes To…

  1. June 11, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Oh, how I love this blog. Now I’m going to share this everywhere.

  2. Catherine Pasierb
    June 11, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    I can’t stop laughing! What strikes me is the universal “Exactly!” that must be coursing through everyone’s mind as they read these.

  3. June 11, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Love this!! I’m tweeting and sharing now!!

    • June 12, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      Thank you, Kathy! I so appreciate it!

  4. Joy
    June 11, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Great awards! You’re right! There is absolutely NO reason why we shouldn’t give ourselves these awards given all the insanity we have to go through on a daily basis 🙂

    • June 12, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      Thank you! I hope you display your certificate for everyone to see 🙂 Thank you for commenting!

  5. June 11, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    I so needed to see this tonight. So glad my hard work has been noticed, finally. FINALLY.
    Sharing!! 🙂

    • June 12, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      It’s been a long time coming, right?! Thanks for reading and sharing!

  6. June 12, 2013 at 7:48 am

    Although I haven’t had to endure terrible jokes yet, I really like the Comomedy Award. Sharing on my FB page again!

    • June 12, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing it! I think I’ve earned the Comomedy award 🙂 Although I may have said, “That’s not a joke!” 🙂

  7. June 12, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Love it! Especially the Jekyll and Hyde award! I’m sharing this one on my blog, you totally made my morning.

    • June 12, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for sharing!

  8. August 6, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Wonderful awards!
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up

  9. August 5, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    Totally awesome. Yesterday I emailed myself with a post idea. I thought I had given birth to the Momlympics, but your momstacle covered it and then some. This was perfect. Loved it.

    • girlalwaysinterrupted
      August 5, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      Oh! Thank you so much, Katia! I say bring on a post about Momlympics. I have no chance to be in the actual Olympics, but I think I stand a chance in the Momlympics 🙂

  10. Kathleen Gallo
    August 6, 2014 at 8:54 am

    I just had to stop and crack up on every one! You really give us great word pictures that all Moms have gone through, or are going through! Love it!!

  11. August 6, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    This is perfect! Thanks for the awards!

  12. Kate @ Did That Just Happen?
    August 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I think this was one of the very first posts I ever read by you -and I was hooked!

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